Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
be right there i have to get my cape
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
