Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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