i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
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