Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
