New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
