Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
