who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
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