I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
