yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I did not marry a roomba.
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