you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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