Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
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