I want to walk on stilts...naked
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
