I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
