everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
