You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
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