The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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