You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
