hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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