so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
