there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
