The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
