I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
