I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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