And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Threesome in a minivan. New low
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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