nut hugger
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize