U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
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