Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize