all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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