i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize