I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize