hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Only a mothe r could love this liver
I think I won the penis lottery.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
