How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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