In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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