If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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