Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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