i already hear my dad disowning me
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
