i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Randomize
