I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
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