# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize