Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Randomize
