she was so not down for the gang bang
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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