a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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