I seem to have left my pride at pride
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
