yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
