I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
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