They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize