batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Just pee around me
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Randomize
