The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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