Joe is yelling at the trees again.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
your like the ambassador to my penis.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
