I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
