I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
