so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
