At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
