i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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