Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Randomize
