it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
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