maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
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