we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
