My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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