When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
