I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
