I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
