It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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