NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
