I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Boobs speak an international language.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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