Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
