we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
