Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
