I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
ugly people sure do ruin things
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
