I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
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