Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
